Step by step instructions / choose your own adventure for recruiters
Recruiting seems to be a tedious process for both parties. As a service to hardworking recruiters that keep calling me and who will never give up I've made some simple step by step instructions that should guide the you through the typical process without having to call me, call me back after work, all the disappointment when you figure I'm not interested even if I didn't hang up immediately etc.
Are you a developer and not a recruiter? Help me simplify recruiting by adapting this page to your needs and paste it on your blog or website! Do tell were you found it and feel free to ping me on @firstname.lastname@example.org to share your improvements.
BTW: If you are a developer && you live in Norway && you don't have an awesome job, feel free to contact me! I helped at least two people getting great jobs last year and last I checked there were still room for more great devs both were I work now as well as at two places I used to work earlier. You'll have to figure out how to get in touch with me though.
Just follow the steps below closely:
- Does the job pay more than 950kNOK? (Bonuses, stock etc doesn't count, I have those at top of my salary already.) Choose your answer below: 1.1. Yes. –> I might or might not be interested. Go to step 4. 1.2. No, but it's still over 850kNOK –> Go to 2. 1.3. No but they pay reasonably –> Go to step 6. 1.4. No, but they work on interesting stuff or they have their own shuffleboard or something else –> Go to step 6.
- Is it within biking distance from where I live? Choose your answer below: 2.1. Yes –> I might or might not be interested, go to step 4. 2.2. No –> Go to step 6.
- You shouldn't be here, but little surprises me when it comes to recruiters except if they are actually helpful. (I've met two of those so far so I know they exist but in one of those cases I wonder if I was just lucky.) Go to step 5.
- Feel free to contact me, my address is a plain email@example.com. You'll find my name elsewhere on this blog. Note however that there is no guarantee that I will be interested after reading more about it. There's more to work than pay and I work with really great colleagues on very exiting stuff for great companies and organizations.
- Sorry to be such a spoiled brat but we have all those at work. Go to step 6.
- Have a nice day! Honestly, while recruiters might frustrate me and this page might be constructed to poke some fun at a certain type of recruiters I honestly don't want to waste your time. Choose your answer below: 6.1. Same to you! –> Pleasure to have you here at my website! Feel free to check back at a later time to see if I have lowered my salary requirements or if you have a better offer at a later time. 6.2. Maybe we should have a coffee? –> Feel free to get a coffee, my website will probably wait here for you, feel free to start back on step 1 if you want. Or you can go straight to step 6. 6.3. Can we have your CV? Sure, why not? You can find it on linkedIn. Then go to step 6.